Shadow and Iron
by Seph's Madisen Moss
Summary: Wally grew to see that dark in Bart's eyes, the shadow of loss and iron of strength. He never forgot what it looked like. Family fic.


**Hey everyone, I was digging through the flash drive and I found this, nearly done and in need of a bit of polish. I was working on the others too, I promise, but I decided to finish this first. I hope you enjoy it, review and tell me what you thought.**

"_Bart! Come on, you've got to stay with me! Bart, don't you dare!" Wally shouted at the boy._

I had hated him at first.

"_You don't have the Allen family eyes." That . . . annoyance said like it explained everything in the world._

"_Don't make me hurt you."_

He was everything I had wanted, everything I tried to be and without even trying. The Flash loved him. Barry had the same link to him I had taken years to develop.

"_I look forward to-meeting you again and-watching you grow up." Barry said, putting his hands on the kid's shoulders._

But then I had seen some of his nights.

_I ran into the room after I had heard screaming and was greeted to a sight I hadn't expected. Bart was thrashing on the bed in the grips of a nightmare I had witnessed only once before and that was in my friend, Dick Grayson. What had this kid seen to inspire something like that?_

As well as the shadows that lurked in his eyes.

_Bart ran forward, protecting the Flash like nothing else. But there was a sudden change halfway through. He slid to a stop and spun to face me, eyes wide and horrified. Because the beam wasn't aimed at Flash, it was aimed at me. I closed my eyes, because I couldn't get out of the way to save my life. Literally. Something slammed into me and I expected death but then opened my eyes and saw something from another ballpark entirely. Bart Allen lay on top of me and I saw his face for a brief second before it adopted his usual happy-go-lucky expression. _

_His eyes were dark with remembered pain and sorrow and the lines of his face and body tense like they were under subconscious orders to be ready to run. Then his eyes cleared and he smiled, but now that I saw the hidden I knew what to look for. And I had found it._

How on some days he would be too tired to keep up a mask but only let it down around certain people.

"_Bart is coming over, Wally," Aunt Iris told me. _

"_Okay, thanks for telling me, Aunt Iris," I sighed. I could probably expect him literally any second now. "Well, see you later I guess. I'll call you when he leaves."_

"_Thank you, Wally. Love you,"_

"_Love you too," I hung up and immediately heard the door give a hum which could only be speed knocking. I sighed, time to face the music. I guess I had taken too long because suddenly Bart was standing in front of me. _

"_Hey, KF!" He quickly merged into speed babble, but there was tiredness in his eyes, like that of a worn out mask. I moved for the chicken-whizzes and ushered him to the couch. Artemis was out with Zatanna and the others so we had the house to ourselves. I held out the bag silently and he gradually slid to a halt, words still stuttering out as if the mask was clinging. But then he stopped and the mask fell completely. He had a bitter glint to his eye, a hardened one, and the hint of an ironic smile lingered on his lips. "Thanks." He said quietly, the voice different than that of his normal tones. I allowed a smile to creep onto my face._

"_Welcome."_

And I understood. I had seen that look in others eyes before. It haunted the depths of Wayne Manor and even Zatanna to a lesser extent. The shadow of loss with the iron of strength behind it. But then everything changed.

"_He's trying to do what's right you know." Bart was sitting on my couch again; Chicken Whizzes in hand as was his custom whenever he was struggling with his mask, and even less of a smile than normally. The past had been ghosting among his thoughts more often recently. But my eyes were hardened to this in my anger for my once best friend._

"_Oh really?" My voice was filled with the angry sarcasm that I rarely had directed at him._

"_Yes, really. I remember Dick Grayson from my future and he made mistakes, but he was there for the world when no one else was for as long as he could manage. Longer, actually." Anger filled my being, anger from the fact that I knew what that meant and I knew that it was true. It was in perfect accord with who Dick had always been and I hated that knowledge being there, because that meant that all of this wasn't just for Dick, but for what he wanted for everyone else. He just got too deep with no one to pull him out or wake him up. My fault. I didn't want to see that and I refused to face it. So I turned on Bart instead._

"_This isn't your future, Bart. Those people don't exist, they never will. Get over it!" Shock reflected on his features for a moment before they hardened and then all that was left was a wind in the room and a warm spot on my couch._

"_Idiot!" I called myself quietly to the empty air._

I didn't see Bart for a while after that, suddenly he was busy with the Team or Blue Beetle or just out and he never came over. I found myself missing him, both his mask that was just a part of him that was never allowed in his past and his real self that so few got to see. It was only during the mission that we divided the alliance of the Reach and the Light that I actually spoke to him again.

"_Hey there, KF, whatcha doing?" I found myself grinning at him, I really had missed him. But we were in uniform, no actual discussion until the Brain stopped trying to shoot us and we were back at my apartment._

"_Same old, same old, driving the bad guys' _nuts_! Nice look by the way." It was nice to talk again._

"_Ha! You think?" I didn't know why he had always valued my opinion so much, but I did know that there was a certain pride whenever I gave him praise, a light that I loved to see, innocence. But there was something else that I wanted to say. _

"_Yeah. Though, honestly, I always figured you'd wind up in something with a little more _yellow and red._" It was the only way I could think of to say everything. All the times I didn't say 'thank you' and 'I missed you' and 'I'm sorry'. The 'I love you, Bart's that I never really said and 'good jobs'. The 'I'm proud of you'. There was a bit of the real Bart that shined through after and I saw his awe. It was more than enough for me._

Everything moved very fast after that and Bart only came over once in the interlude before we were saving the world again. I had been getting this feeling, the feeling of an ending for some reason and I had a very bad feeling that I knew why. So I wrote. There was a letter for Barry and Iris, Jay, the Team, my parents, Dick, Artemis, and Bart. They had all the things I never said. I just hoped I didn't need them so I could say them myself. And so that I could burn them to get rid of the evidence.

I almost thought that I could for a moment too. But then the bombs were found and I knew that my ending was near. I still went. I didn't say goodbye to Artemis because I wasn't sure I could and I just smiled at Bart and Barry. Then the shocks came. There was this feeling of weightlessness, of distant pain and then… nothing. I said goodbye. There was only light.

. . . . .

I missed him. When I came to the past, I told myself that I would not get attached. That went to the wind more quickly then I care to admit. But… it was Wally. I had idolized him in my future, along with the rest of the heroes. I practically jumped at the chance to meet him. I just didn't guess how quickly he would see through me. I had assumed that the BatClan would catch on quickly, and they did, but I hadn't accounted for him.

It became my saving grace though, that retreat where I wouldn't be playing the happy kid with superpowers and wasn't-that-just-the-coolest-thing-ever, the one with nothing wrong. There was plenty wrong, I knew that, I just hadn't realized how hard it would be to hide that. So he became my safe house. And I grew attached. No, even worse, I grew attached and dependent. And then he was gone. And I was left with a letter, a few altered suits, and a box of chicken whizzes.

He said that he didn't want me to linger on him, that he didn't want to become another one of the shadows in my eyes. That he knew that I would be wonderful and he was so proud. But it wasn't enough. It was never enough.

But I had promised. So I would be Kid Flash and Bart 'Impulse' Allen and maybe, here and there, when I was with Artemis and Jaime, I would be Bart Allen, messed up kid from a different future. I would do it for him. I would do it for them. And it would have to be enough.

**I hope you liked it, I wasn't too sure of the ending, I'll admit. Review and tell me what you thought? Either way, thanks for reading and have a lovely week,**

**SMM**


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